|
|
| Hello Walleye World
Yes I am still alive, However my life has never been in such turmoil. Amazing how our lives can change so fast. I am in a divorce that involves a magnitude of problems of which I feel I should not list due to the severity of legalality and to retain privacy of all involved.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have come from a very close family and that my Family has had a family fishing tradition for generations. Unfortanatley that tradition is currently being broken. In 2001 I set out to accomplish my dream of becoming a professional angler, and for the past three years had given everything I could every bit of energy, sweat, blood and heart that I could to try accomplish this feat... For anyone who doesn't know who I am , I have been exposed and involved in the world of walleye fishing since 1984 as a young boy. The water has always amazed me and the challenge to try grasp an understanding of how to analyze the fish from day to day and not really conquer the walleye, but just to get a satisfaction of catching the fish, I guess fishing is a lot of different things to different people, but that's a whole other topic that I could speak or write about another time...
I guess anyone who has ever met my wife knew that she was always supportive of me 100% and worked very hard to help me accomplish my dreams. She had been my best friend and fishing partner since we both were 16 years old... Really a lot of my cofidence had come from her. My boy Cody is my SON, my only son, and anyone who is a Dad can relate of how much they Love their children. I was lloking forward so much to being with him so much more this year as I had scheduled less events to BE HOME... I knew I had been gone a lot because of the push to reach the top, and I am sure there will be critics out there who will say I deserve this, but anyone who knows me knew I cared so much for my family. What is funny is that I was really planning to quit, retire after winning the MWC WWC with my father in 2003, I knew that my relationship with my wife was in distress, but I couldn't figure out why??? - I recall coming to her in December 03 and telling her that I was going to quit fishing, and watching her eyes fill up with tears and telling me not to give up because she said I was one of the best there is out there.. Talk about confusion for me, I just wish she would have told me the truth and just have been honest in all that was really going on with her, US.
So I once again, I went upon my way, thinking that I better succeed in the fishing since she believes in me that much... Unfortanatley when I returned home from Winniconne PWT she was moved out... The rest of the story involves a year of frustration and poor mistakes a temporary court agreement that I had signed, you see, I was willing to do anything to try to put my family back together...
All I can ask of anyone who reads this, please pray for my horrible situation, if anyone would like to help me go through my equipment, or would just like to offer a hand I am willing to accept any help at all. My real hope is for restoration of my marriage regardless of how terrible the situation is, and trust me the complxity of this divorce is unbelieveable. However despite how bad it is, I do have faith that God can do anything, I have asked for fish and he has given me fish. I know that I can not change Gods will, but I am hoping for mercy and am trying to live in faith in him that he will direct me as of what to do... Right now, I can only fight for a chance to be with my son, as I am loosing him!!!
As for my sponsors of 2004 all I can say is thank you for believing in me this year, I am only sorry that I was unable to complete all of my obligations. The one company that I have to thank the most is Tracker Marine, for without them, I would have already been in total destruction. I had enjoyed working with them so much, The company is full of real people and the boat buyers are real people, not only do walleye pros buy Tracker Marine boats, but fishermen, families, and just people with good hearts. Thank you Tracker Marine for believing in me, you did not treat me like a STRANGER. I am only sorry that this had to happen, I believe that that my problems at home had started the previous year. I would also like to thank Lindy for their support over the past couple of years, For the rest of my sponsors that have come and gone and have promised... and who I had tried to please, actually who I gave MY ALL to, my time, sweat, blood, and my wife was even willing to offer all of us - AS A FAMILY, thanks, for your support, I guess.
Well, I may be down now, however, I will not despair, though I have fallen, I will rise again!!!
I am leaving my contact information for anyone who is willing to contact me, I sure could use the support.
Tim Minnema
Tim Minnema
N 4029 hwy 73 Unit A
Markesan, WI 53946
920 295 4030
920 229 7348
no email | |
| | |
Location: Rhinelander | Tim,
Hang in there sir. I sincerly hope everything works out well. | |
| | |
Member
Posts: 2680
Location: Essexville, MI./Saginaw Bay. | Tim.
You don't really know me except through this board and maybe others. And I know only the pain and confusion of seeing your safe and comfortable world (as you now it) come apart, can give you the desperate strength to post this situation on a public Internet board. But you have truly confided in some brethren here, that (most) will fully understand your situation.
I truly believe/know, that both the hunting and fishing sports contributed to the failure of my first two marriages. It almost ended my third, 13 years into it. And we're just talking about a passionate hobby/part time guide/charter business in my case, versus the total (time/labor/money) consuming devotion that fishing the Pro Circuits involves.
Some would call this total obsession we have with fishing, a selfish, self-serving past time. And to a degree, (and finally/personally after all these years) I'd have to partly agree with that assessment. The true fishing habit is as strong, as any bad habit any addict has ever had. It supersedes the physical habit, and works it way right into your mental psyche. We find ways, adjust budgets, barrow money and will move heaven and earth, to posses that new GPS or fishfinder, adjust any calendar schedules we can, (even if avoiding special family events and functions) to get in on the best bites.
All this while doing whatever we can to keep one foot in the (good) family door. Do you know for years, I would take it personal if I called you on Friday night to go fishing the next morning, and you refused because of some lame reason like (It's my daughters birthday tomorrow). And it was this precise example that both made me trash my best friend and finally realize I needed a (mind set) adjustment. This of course was well after my first two marriages and just before the crisis in my third.
Me and the wife got over the hump, I sacrificed doing a few things and so did she, and we just celebrated our 26th anniversary. Initially it wasn't easy. With prayer, along with my (often convenient) faith in God, I truly believed helped Me. After this change,my other fishing junkie friends reacted the same way I used to, and simply crossed me off their (handy friends) list. Eventually, I got older/wiser and so did she. The things that seemed so (God awful) important back then, seems to have taken their proper perspective place now. We've reached that blissful medium. You and your wife have slowly grown apart, and only if both of you want it to work, will it. One great tip though, don't force it back together or make promises you truly can't/won't keep. And unlike Dr. Phil, this comes from a guy who walked this road three times before, but finally realized what road was the less traveled.
Edited by walleye express 10/23/2004 2:42 PM
| |
| | |
Member
Posts: 363
Location: Kaukauna WI | Tim
You and your dad have been great role models for me and every one out in the world. I will add you to my prayer list. Call me my friend if you need anything
MICHAEL W DUTTON
| |
| | |
Member
Posts: 2567
Location: Manitowoc, WI | Tim,
Always remember that when things look their bleakest that you have good friends and family around you that will do whatever it takes to help you. We talked briefly in Cleveland about things and I wish I could have spent more time with you, but things didn't work out that way. If there's anything I can help you with, feel free to call me or email. I'm there for you in a second. May God bless you and your family. Keep the faith!!!
Jerry | |
| | |
| Hi Tim my name is Paul Komp and I pre-fished with Ted T. out on the winn. tournament.Dean Arnoldussens friend.I had no idea things were that bad at home.I remember her yelling at you for those sun burnt ears and meeting your son, but didnt see anything like her leaving you in her emotions that day.Iunderstand the strain on family and fishing tournaments.I was getting close to breakdown at home with my wife and kids and work and fishing around the midwest and working and fishing.I guess I had to step back and look at myself and say ,my life is not just about me , but I have a family who I love and have not been spending any time with the last 2 years.And thats all on me no one else.I will fish next year ,just not sure what or how much, but the more I can include my family the better.Tim your A standup guy and a great fisherman ,I hope you can work things out because it sounds like thats what you want.Either way you shouldnt lose your son.He will always be your son.I have a 9 year old son named Cody.He is dads best bud and my hunting and fishing partner.Paul Komp | |
| | |
Member
Posts: 97
Location: Rochester, MN | Tim,
Believe it or not, I know how you feel. I went through a divorce in 2001 and I didnt realize it at the time but I was on a downward spiral in many ways. But the truth is good people rise above tough times and I believe you will also. You find out who you are in times such as these. Dont make any rash decisions regarding your future right now just let things be and do the best that you can. Your mind needs to sort this all out. Try and be the best dad that you can and if your wife needs to move on, you are just going to have to buck up and deal with it. I know you can. I went through this as a kid and now Im dealing with it as a Dad. The best scenario is for you and your wife to patch it up and work it out but if you cant do that.....
Most importantly, make SURE you have a good attorney they are money well spent. Fight for time with your child. That is very important. The most difficult thing is not being there every night to turn out the lights when your child goes to bed. Not being there to protect your child everday hurts like hell. It is a horrible feeling. But a marriage is an agreement between two people and sometimes the other half isnt has happy as people think.
Fishing brings you joy and you need it as an escape. Hang onto that. Fishing might not seem all that important right now but it may become more important to you than ever. A place to forget your troubles so to speak.
Your sponsors are going to be more important to you now more than ever. I dont know your financial situation, but for me it is almost impossible to afford to be involved in competitive fishing while paying child support. This is why I am not competing anymore. I just cannot financially do it. The state of wisconsin wants you and your ex to come to an agreement on a fixed amount of child support. If you cannot do that they will set a fixed amount at 17% of your current income. I am bound by the state of wisconsin to pay 17% of my GROSS PAY. They do this through my companys payroll dept. every pay period. Child support for me at times has been up and over 1000 dollars a month for one child. OUCH. Yet some guys I know pay 500 a month or less because they reached an agreement with there ex or had a good attorney. To make a long story short I was unemployed at the time of the divorce and did not have an attorney present (DUMB). Boy did I pay for that one. I can get it changed to a fixed amount but the court calculates the fixed amount at 17% of what you make anyway so I just deal with it and budget alot better than I used to. Dont get me wrong I want every dime going towards my childs needs but are they....who really knows for sure. This is why I have a 14 foot boat that I dont make payments on and not a tournament style boat. Im just sharing my situation so you can learn from it.
Its going to hurt but.....get in there and fight for your rights. You will be fine but just please do not let the court and her attorney take advantage of you. Dont let what happened to me happen to you.
I might very well be giving you a call to see how you are doing.
Edited by hougie 10/24/2004 8:48 AM
| |
| | |
Member
Posts: 701
Location: upper michigan | Tim god bless ya and know that just about every one of your fellow fisherman have a shoulder for you to lean on. i wish you the best of luck that things turn out good. But if for some reasone they dont keep your chin up because you cant keep a good man down | |
| | |
Member
Posts: 376
Location: Menominee MI, In Da UP Eh? | Tim, I will give you a call soon, but here I can tell you to trust in your faith, and lean on your family.
I truly do hope this will work out for you and your wife, but you are both adults and if it does not work out, you will overcome it in time. Your son however....
How you and your wife handle this, both alone with Cody and when you and your wife are face to face or with Cody together, how you two react to and treat each other will either help Cody or hurt him. Kids are amazing and can eventually handle a lot, but (I say this as a friend and one who is also a dad) how you and your wife treat each other in the worst of times will make a dramatic difference on how young Cody will handle future relationships.
Lean on your family, lean on your church and use a councellor if there is even a chance that you two can remain together. And never forget that Cody is the most fragile and most precious person in this struggle.
Take care my friend.
Edited by Nofish 10/24/2004 10:34 AM
| |
| | |
| Tim:
Sara, Gavin and I are thinking of you and you always know you can call us for ANYTHING. You are a great person, friend and we will always be there for you. Give us a call anytime, we moved out into the country now and there are plenty of roosters with your name on them!!!
Jimmy Siewert | |
| | |
Member
Posts: 50
Location: Loves Park, IL now Mt. View Ar. | Tim, My prayers are with you my friend. You are a great person and father to your son Cody. I had the same thing happen to me and I know what you must be going through. I hope the best for you and your family that things work out if that's what god intends for you. Keep the faith, God has a plan for you.
I can't agree more with Nofish(Ralph Muccilli), Read his reply again, there good wisdom in his words.
If there is anything I can do call me night or day, I"ll give you a call soon. Tell your Dad hello for me.
All the Best Now and forever,
Steve Anderson
| |
| | |
Member
Posts: 171
| Tim,
Only met ya a couple of times but in that short amount of time you sure did impress me as being a stand up guy. I've gone through what you're going through now, it is't easy. It's emotionally wrenching in more ways than most people know. I have some advice, from experience.
1. Try/oh try to work it out. It's in the best interest of Cody and your wife and YOU.
2. If you can't work it out and divorce is imminent, get a great attorney, cut off all personal communications with your wife (do all communicating through an attorney)
3. Do not discuss the matters of divorce with anyone except your parent/siblings/attorney. (Don't discuss it on the net).
4. Lose any empathy that you have for your wife. You MUST for the sake of your relationship with your son be strong.
5. Hang in there. It does get better, time does heal. Believe in God.
Rob | |
| | |
Member
Posts: 73
Location: NW Illinois | I've not met you Tim, but I can also understand the pain you are going through. You are in my prayers, along with Cody.
John | |
| | |
| Tim,
I am the wife of a very dedicated fisherman, Your story is very powerful and mirrors alot of peoples situations. Give her time, it took years of fishing being first and her being second. She is not going to get over that quickly. She may never get over it. Do not dwell on the past, God forgives our sins and we must also forgive ourselves. Be the best you can be to your son each and every day. He will not forget you and he will never forget the great times fishing together. I sometimes get jealous of those precious fishing days my husband has with our boys. I know how important they are to them by their faces when they get home and the stories they tell me about it. I'm sure your son is no different. I will be praying for your family. Stay strong and give it to GOD. Give your wife space and time to heal. And please don't be too hard on yourself there were 2 people in this relationship and 1 person cannot take all the responsibility.
Thank you for your story and opening my eyes to how consuming this sport can be to so many people and not just my husband.
A friend in Jesus | |
| | |
| Thank You all for your post and prayers. I will be going to court on Tuesday November 2 at appx 1:00PM for one of our first court appearances. Please continue to pray, I know it works, for I have asked and received. Yes, it is sad how we go in and out of trust and faith in God. All we really are is a wave tossed in the sea, as it is written in his word. Anyone who has spent some time on the water has surely seen what I am talking about... However, we always have the opportunity to come back and ask forgiveness.
Sorry for getting so deep and personal and if I offend anyone by this post, but I am only reaching out to all of the friends that I have across the walleye world. I am very thankful to those who have responded with calls of confidence. I am in very deep waters and they are rising to my neck, all I can do is keep faith that this will turn in time.
As it was mentioned there are other factors, not only fishing that effected our marriage, but fishing was a major part of it. Truly all of our lives are unique and important in our own way, all I hope is that if anyone is having troubles in their own family or looking for a direction in what to do in life, or in the pursuit of their fishing dreams, don't be afraid to ask me. My experiences in the walleye world have been truly unique, I am sure that my situation is not the only troubled one out there, but I hope that this story will open others eyes to the decisions that they make. Remember that every decision you make will effect you for the rest of your life.
Thanks again for taking the time to read and say a prayer, sorry again for expressing so much...
Tim Minnema | |
| | |
| Tim,
This is Dale in Chicago. I have thought of you many times and have received a few updates from Ted. I know you will come out of this situation okay. You are a terrific and strong person. I will be in touch with you soon. You also have my number. Keep the faith. | |
| | |
Member
Posts: 83
Location: Isle MN. | Hey Tim,
Sorry to hear about all that has gone on. Since I met you up at Cass Lake I was curious to how you were doing. I talked to Perry Good at the Gander Mnt. Grand Opening in Mankato and found out from him. I wish you the best, and some time this next summer we'll have to try and get together for a day on the water. We'll hope and pray for the best for you and your entire family. Take Care | |
| | |
Member
Posts: 538
| Tim,
We have never met, but I must say that I was strongly moved while reading your plea for support and compassion. It is clear that you are in a deep abyss emotional pain. To your credit, many friends have come forward with offers of support and words of comfort. I hope you can discover the true causes of your wifes unhappiness with your relationship. Until you know the whole story, you have little chance of rectifying the situation. I hope that you can find the proper balance between your family relationship and your passion for fishing.
Best wishes,
Jim Ordway | |
| | |
| Tim I hope every thing went well at court the other day. Good Luck | |
| | |
| Tim,
Good luck with everything. Sorry to hear about what's going on. I have only talked to you a little and i know you will get through this situation. I went through the same thing with my parents, so I kind of have an idea of what you are going through. It was tough for me, as a kid, but I'm a believer of everything happens for a reason. If you need anything contact me. My dad will give you my number if you need it. Hope to hear from you soon!!
Chase Parsons | |
| |
|
Horrible Situation Help n Prayers Needed