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| Jump to page : 1 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page] Walleye Fishing -> General Discussion -> Tourism Brochures for traveling the mid-west! |
JLDII |
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| A heartfelt message from the rural Midwest: Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state: 1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym. 2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it...not just to keep up with the neighbors. 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it. 4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped... by our women. 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for... bait. 6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink. 9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef' Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. 10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. 11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year. 12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. 13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive pickups, trucks and tractors --because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. 14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too -- and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop. 15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go East & West--Interstates 29, 35 & 55 go North and South. Pick one and use it accordingly. 16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church. 17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept? 18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazard. It spooks the fish. 19. That Highway Patrol Officer who just pulled you over for driving like an idiot... his name is "Sir"... no matter how old he is. Now please, enjoy your visit  | |||
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| Tommy G |
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| JLDII |
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| Mr. Tommy G., Sir, let me explain something that must be a lost concept to you. This is the USA, and one of the freedoms as a citizen, and registered user of this board, is that I have the freedom of speech, and am allowed to excercise it freely on this board, within the guidelines. Another great freedom of this country, and of this message board, allows everyone the freedom of choice. Obviously, what I have to say does not sit well with you. For that I am sorry, sir. Please feel free to excercise your freedom of choice and pass over my posts in the future. I will try not to be offended. Now, if on the other hand you wish to get into a matching of wits and engage in an intelectual debate, feel free to register as a user of this board, and I will be more than accomodating in meeting your desires. In closing, may I ask you sir, when or what, have you ever offered this discussion board, fishing related or otherwise?  By the way, I posted this thread just for you!! Edited by JLDII 12/5/2004 12:21 AM | |||
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| sworrall |
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Location: Rhinelander | |||
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