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| When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
Edited by Jayman 11/21/2008 1:16 PM
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| This one may be going to far but....
In his spare time, Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters. And by "knit", I mean "kick" and by "sweaters" I mean "babies". |
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Location: Berlin | Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
Edited by Rich S 11/21/2008 1:53 PM
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| Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!” |
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Location: Berlin | On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day.
Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.
Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives |
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| Go to google.com and search Find Chuck Norris. Then click "I'm feeling lucky".
A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.
Edited by Jayman 11/21/2008 2:12 PM
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| Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land
Scientist were wondering how dinosaurs became extinct until they found chuck norris shoe print in a T-Rex's skull
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. |
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| Chuck Norris wears a watch with no numbers. It simply reads "Time to Kick Ass" |
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